July 1, 1995SUICIDE PACT WAS
A 'NOTION IN THE AIR'
AMONG FRIENDS
July 1, 1995SUICIDE PACT WAS
A 'NOTION IN THE AIR'
AMONG FRIENDS
By Jonathan Dube
NEW MILFORD -- FOR SEVERAL MONTHS, about 15 local teen-age girls have had an "understanding" that if one killed herself, the others would follow.
The group of girls, who range in age from 14 to 18, are continually depressed and suicidal, according to interviews with two of the girls and two acquaintances.
About half the girls have already attempted suicide at least once, they said. Many are on medication for depression.
They said the girls are so close to one another that if one successfully committed suicide, the others would be so distraught they would probably kill themselves as well. "We all had the feeling, and the notion was in the air, that if one of us did it, we all would, because we'd feel so worthless," said a 14-year-old who spoke on the condition of anonymity. "We wouldn't know what else to do."
In the past week the town has become alarmed by the news that 10 teen-age girls attempted suicide between June 5 and June 19.
Frederick Lohse, an emergency room physician who treated five of the girls, said two had told him they were part of "a suicide pact."
But the girls interviewed emphasized that it was not a formal suicide pact, but more of a "notion in the air."
"It wasn't a formal pact," said a girl who asked to be identified only as Stephanie. "It was just that they love each other so much it probably would amount to that."
"Because we're different, we stick together," said Stephanie, who is 15 and will be a sophomore at New Milford High. "If one of the girls was successful, it may cause the others to go through with it."
The girls often get together at par ties where they sit around, drink alcohol, discuss their problems and cry. It was at those parties, first about six months ago and again since, that the girls discussed what would happen if one of their suicide al friends succeeded in killing herself.
"We had an understanding that if one of us did it we'd do what we thought was right on the spur of the moment," the 14-year-old said. "I think we'd flip out basically.
"Some of us did come out and say they'd kill themselves," she said. "We were pretty serious." While different ages, the girls have bonded together because of their shared problems, their shared depression. Other girls in school have labeled them "freaks," they said.
The 14-year-old said some of the girls call themselves "the broken ones." Many of them live in broken homes, with only one parent. One's mother died of cancer recently; one's father died after a long illness; one's mother is terminally ill; one's father is an alcoholic and another's father died from alcoholism. Most, if not all, have parents who "just don't understand" or "don't love them," those interviewed said.
"Everyone I know, all my friends, are depressed," the 14-year-old said. "We're broken and we can't put the pieces back together."
Mental health experts say it would not be surprising if one successful suicide led others to follow.
Simon Sobo, New Milford Hospital's chief of psychiatry, has described teen-agers' desires to kill themselves as "contagious."
Cynthia Pfeffer, a child psychologist at New York Hospital in White Plains and an expert on teen-age suicide, said teen-agers often react to problems by repeating each others' behaviors.
"These teen-agers sound like they are vulnerable to these (suicidal) behaviors," Pfeffer said. "Teen-agers normally and generally get very involved with each other, and they tend to stick together and handle things in similar ways.
"There is an element of contagiousness to this, and certainly the worry that if one is successful, others will follow," Pfeffer said. "It is something to be very concerned about."
Local teen-agers agreed that one of their peers committing suicide could set off a chain reaction. "I definitely think if one person went through with it a lot of people would," said Jennifer Uttmark, who said she knows the girls.
"I think that the really depressed people stick together because they are the only people they can relate to," said Uttmark, 16, who will be a junior at the high school. "So if they start losing the only people they can talk to, then there's really nothing left."
