January 15, 1995
By Jonathan Dube
NEW MILFORD - A LOCAL EPISCOPAL PRIEST accused by a 13-year-old boy of offering oral sex as a confirmation gift has been ordered to undergo "rehabilitation" but continues to lead his congregation.
Both the priest, the Rev. Bruce W. Jacques of St. John's Episcopal Church, and his bishop acknowledged that comments made to the 13-year-old last summer were "inappropriate," according to a letter written by Bishop Clarence N. Coleridge, who heads the Episcopal Diocese of Connecticut.
The boy's family has called for Jacques' resignation. But the bishop determined that forcing Jacques to resign would go against the church's best interests by "disrupting the spiritual life of the entire parish," Coleridge wrote in the Sept. 13 letter to the boy's father.
After speaking with his advisors and a psychotherapist who evaluated the 46-year-old Jacques, Coleridge wrote, "There is general agreement that Fr. Jacques does not pose a problem to your son or any other child in his parish, or any other child with whom he may come into contact."
Neither the bishop nor Jacques would answer questions for this story. "It's too volatile an issue," Coleridge said.
When asked to comment, Jacques said, "You should be ashamed of yourself."
In addition to the 13-year-old boy, The News-Times interviewed a friend of the boy who said Jacques also made a sexual comment to him, and a 20-year-old man who said Jacques repeatedly propositioned him seven years ago. The News-Times is not identifying the youths because of the nature of the allegations.
The incident that prompted the bishop's response occurred June 4, according to the boy. The boy, who is now 14, said he had just completed his novation service, a ceremony performed about a week before confirmation. The boy said he was removing his vestment in a back room of the Main Street church when Jacques approached him.
"He said, 'For your confirmation, would you like something special or would you like a blow job?'" the boy said.
The boy replied that he did not know what "blow job" meant, and Jacques said he would have someone inform him, according to the boy.
Two weeks later, on June 18, the boy brought a friend with him on a church trip to Dorney Park, an amusement park in Allentown, Pa. At the park, Jacques asked the friend, in the boy's presence, to explain what a blow job is to the boy, according to the boy and the friend, who does not belong to the church.
"He said, 'For your confirmation, would you like something special or would you like a blow job?'" the boy said.Later, after the friend explained the term to the boy, the boy described the previous incident to his friend, who was also 13 at the time. The friend told his mother that evening; she told the other boy's mother, who then discussed the situation with her husband and son.
The family debated whether to report the matter to the police or the bishop, and the next week decided to contact only the bishop. The father said he thought the criminal punishment for such a crime would be at most "a slap on the wrist," and thus the incident would not be worth reporting to the police.
In fact, such an incident could result in a charge of criminal attempt to commit risk of injury to a minor, an unclassified felony that carries a minimum sentence of a year in prison, according to Police Major Colin McCormack. Even though the incident occurred last summer, the family can still file charges, McCormack said.
The father said he spoke to the bishop about a half dozen times over the next two months, complaining that Jacques had offered his son oral sex and calling for his resignation. The father said he told the bishop the two boys were willing to meet with him and describe the incidents, but the bishop told him that would not be necessary. The bishop told the father Jacques admitted making the comments, but said they had been "taken out of context," the father said.
The bishop sent the father two letters. In the first, dated Aug. 17, he said he had just received a report from Scott Stevens, a Windham psychotherapist who analyzed Jacques. The father said Stevens called him in August to offer counseling help to the family, which the father declined. Stevens would not comment for this story.
In the second letter, dated Sept. 13, Coleridge wrote that he shares the family's goal of insuring that "Fr. Jacques' inappropriate behavior is not repeated."
"The comments made by Fr. Jacques were inappropriate and Fr. Jacques shares in this assessment of his actions," Coleridge wrote. But he wrote he disagrees with the family as to the "most appropriate" response.
"After significant discussion and prayer, I do not believe that requiring Fr. Jacques to leave St. John's will help us to achieve our goal," Coleridge wrote. "Disrupting the spiritual life of the entire parish, and risking both your family's and Fr. Jacques' exposure to the media, would not be in the best interests of all concerned.
"Other types of rehabilitative experiences will be required of him. . . . This type of behavior is clearly unacceptable for any member of our clergy, and we will monitor Fr. Jacques in the future to insure his compliance with the rehabilitation plan laid out for him."
The bishop's decision infuriated the family. The bishop told the father that "rehabilitation" meant counseling, the father said. But the father, mother and son all said Jacques should not be permitted to work at St. John's or any other church. They said it shocked and disturbed them that the bishop has allowed Jacques to continue to work with children.
"I think he should be out of there, completely," the father said. "But the bishop doesn't want to deal with it. He just wants to kick it under the carpet.... This is a scary situation. This could happen to another kid.""I think he should be out of there, completely," the father said. "But the bishop doesn't want to deal with it. He just wants to kick it under the carpet.... This is a scary situation. This could happen to another kid."
The incident has taken its toll on the family. The mother said she often has trouble sleeping and has broken down and cried dozens of times. She said she does not know how much it has affected her son, because he is very reserved and rarely talks about it.
"I think the sad thing is I can't trust anybody now, not even a ministerÑwhich is pretty bad," the mother said. After nine years as members, the family stopped attending the church just after the incident.
The boy said he tries not to think about the incident. But he did say it confused him. "I don't know why it occurred and I don't know why it was me," he said.
Jacques, who lives with his wife and two sons on North Valley Road, has been the rector of St. John's since September 1984. St. John's, founded in 1742, has about 250 member families.
As rector, Jacques often works with children. He works with the church youth groups, participating in the trips and activities. He also prepares children for confirmation and trains them as acolytes and crucifers, youths who assist during services.
Prior to coming to St. John's, Jacques worked as vicar and rector of St. Peter's Episcopal Church in South Windsor from 1976 to 1984; as assistant to the rector at St. Mary's Episcopal Church in Manchester from 1974 to 1976; and as curate at Trinity Church in Torrington from 1973 to 1974, when he was ordained.
The 20-year-old man interviewed by The News-Times said Jacques propositioned him repeatedly in summer 1987. The man said he was 13 and baby-sitting at Jacques' home when the priest first propositioned him. He said Jacques continued to make similar propositions to him over the next few months.
"He said he had this friend he goes to who he gets blow jobs from, and he wanted to take me to him," said the 20-year-old, a parishioner at the time. "He asked me a lot of sexual questions. He explained what a blow job was and all this other stuff. He said it was the most wonderful experience you'll ever experience. He was just sick."
The 20-year-old said he did not report the incidents because he was embarrassed and afraid. But he said he eventually gathered up his courage and yelled at the priest, eliciting an apology from Jacques. After that, the man avoided Jacques and stopped going to the church. But the man said that when he was in the hospital several years later, Jacques came to visit him and repeated the overtures.
The 20-year-old said the incidents disturbed him. He said he had numerous personal problems in the years following, although he does not know to what extent they stemmed from the incident, as he was also grappling with his parents' divorce at the time. He said he saw a psychotherapist for four years.
"It confused the hell out of me," the 20-year-old said. "I didn't know if this was wrong or if this was right or an everyday thing. I didn't know what to think.... I was dumbfounded. Here was this man of God, and I was just some confused little kid."
SIDEBAR:
CHURCH MEMBERS REACT
WITH SHOCK, DENIALBy Jonathan Dube
THE NEWS-TIMES
NEW MILFORD -- Parishioners of St. John's Church reacted with a combination of shock and denial to allegations that their priest sexually propositioned a 13-year-old boy.
"I can't believe this," said Jayne Jones, a vestry member and mother of two. "I'm shocked. Even though you hear about this on the news, for this to happen at home, I don't have too much trust left in people -- if this is true." The Rev. Bruce W. Jacques of St. John's Episcopal Church and his bishop have acknowledged Jacques made "inappropriate" comments to a local boy last summer, according to a letter written by Bishop Clarence N. Coleridge, who heads the Episcopal Diocese of Connecticut. But the bishop decided the 46-year-old Jacques could remain as rector of the church as long as he undergoes counseling.
The allegations, first made to the diocese last summer, are no secret to many congregation members. Of more than two dozen parishioners queried, at least half had heard the news. Some learned of the allegations directly from the family involved and others through the grapevine.
But among those who said they had not been told of the allegations were several vestry members. They said the vestry, as the church's governing body, should have been informed of the charges and the bishop's decision. "I can't believe I haven't heard about this," vestry member Bruce Larson said.
The vestry is composed of 12 elected church members, headed by two wardens.
Both wardens acknowledged they were aware of the allegations. When contacted, Warden Herbert Walling said only, "The issue has been taken care of by the bishop and the diocese."
The other warden, Flora Ellen Quammie, declined to comment. The boy's family has not kept the matter secret and is upset the church has. Since learning of the bishop's decision in September, the parents have told dozens of parishioners about the incident.
"I talk about it with as many people as possible," the father said. "But nobody's doing anything about it. Everyone in church who knows about it has been trying to kick it under the carpet. No one wants to address it. Nothing's been done. And that's what disgusted me."
The mother said the way the parishioners have treated the situation has destroyed her respect for the church and for the notion of a church community.
"When you're part of a church, they say the church is your family," the mother said. "They say when you have problems, you can go to your church family. Well, I'm sorry, my family doesn't seem to be doing anything."
Several parishioners already aware of the allegations said they were deeply concerned and were considering leaving the Main Street church. They said they were appalled Jacques has been permitted to continue working with children.
But others vehemently defended their priest.
"He's not guilty," vestry member Bonnie Lawrence said. "I don't think he did anything. I have two sons and I would trust him with them."
Church Treasurer Deborah Jewell also asserted Jacques' innocence and defended the bishop's decision to keep the matter under wraps. Jewell said she thought the matter should be kept secret because of the destructive effect it could have on the church community.
"It would be a terrible thing for St. John's Church" if people knew about the allegations, Jewell said. "It would just disrupt the whole parish."
Parishioners described the St. John's community as a tight-knit group of 250 families. Most church members contacted reacted angrily to questions about the allegations. Several people hung up the phone. Few were willing to talk on the record.
Such reactions from church members are common in cases of clerical abuse, according to Patricia Liberty, director of Associates in Education and Prevention in Pastoral Practice, a non-profit counseling organization in North Kingston, R.I.
"Everybody knows, but nobody wants to talk about it because there's a hope that if you don't talk about the issue it will just go away," Liberty said, speaking of such cases in general. "People become tremendously confused and frightened by the abuse of power, and the tendency is to deny."
Moreover, allegations such as those against Jacques can severely weaken parishioners' respect for clergy, according to the Rev. Michael Moran of the First Congregational Church in New Milford.
"I think it's bound to have a negative effect," Moran said. "People will feel hurt. They will feel somebody they trusted is not trustworthy."
As a result, the charges alone, even if untrue, could disrupt the parish, he said.
"People don't just go to church for the clergy person," Moran said. "They go for the community. This could be destructive to the sense of community, which is based on trust."
Vestry member Jones agreed, saying she was concerned about St. John's future.
"This is going to stir up a lot of doubt in the church," Jones said. "I certainly won't leave any of our children alone with anybody anymore. I don't know why people do this kind of stuff. I just can't understand it."
Read the follow-up article about the priest's resignation.
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