After I wrote a column about my failed search for Hannukah candles and my encounters with store clerks who didn't know what they were (Jan. 5 Viewpoint: Religion & Ethics, ``Stores unenlightened about Hannukah candles), I not only discovered that many Jews in our community have had similar experiences - but many Christians have as well.

I got more than 50 e-mails, letters and phone calls. My article represented ``a good example of what it's like to be Jewish here,'' Claire Goodman wrote. ``Maybe it will help a few people understand Jews a little better.''

One man said he once asked for a menorah and was told ``Menure? We don't sell fertilizer here.'' A Fort Mill woman said people who learned she was Jewish have replied, ``I've never seen one of you before.''

``If you think getting candles is a hassle, I keep kosher and have meat shipped in from my old butcher in Long Island,'' wrote Susan Aizenman of Charlotte.

Many said they had extra candles and offered them. Others pointed me to locations where I could buy my own, such as the Kosher Mart on Independence and the temples on Providence Road.

One woman called from North Myrtle Beach to tell me Pier One sells the candles. I even got e-mail from a Florida couple, who were visiting their Fort Mill daughter when the story ran, saying they had similar experiences searching for candles in the Sunshine State.

A computer-savvy person pointed me to a web page made especially for me, depicting a menorah filled with lit candles. ``Sorry you couldn't find candles, so I thought I'd send some!'' he wrote.

That someone went to the trouble to make the web site amazed me. But I was even more touched by the responses from sympathetic Christian readers. Several apologized to me for the ``ignorance'' I had encountered.

Interestingly, several said they've had similar experiences searching for Advent candles. One Episcopalian woman asked a Hallmark store clerk for them only to get the response, ``That's a Jewish thing, isn't it?''

Another Christian, Steven Smith of Monroe, suggested that Christians should not only understand Hanukkah, but celebrate it. After all, he says, according to the New Testament, Jesus participated in the feast of the rededication of the temple in Jerusalem - which Hanukkah commemorates.

``From a Jesus Christ perspective, we (Christians) should be spending more time and effort in not only knowing about Hanukkah, but setting it aside as a time of celebration as much as Christmas itself,'' Smith said.

Mark Belue said he bought a box of 44 Hanukkah candles from Target two years ago during an after-Christmas sale at a 90 percent discount - and had eight left, if I wanted them.

``I'm a born-again Christian, but I figured they'd make good birthday candles - albeit overbuilt - and I couldn't pass up the bargain,'' Belue wrote.

The most comforting responses were from those who felt Charlotte has become more religiously aware in the past decade. ``After moving to Charlotte in 1983, I stopped in a restaurant for breakfast,'' wrote Gunther Schwarz. ``When I asked for a toasted bagel the waitress said, What's that?' . . . Today we have bagel bakers in Charlotte. That's progress.''

Still, Schwarz said, the South still has a long way to go.

That was clear by the few nasty responses I got, such as, ``People ignore your holiday because you're not even Christian and you killed Jesus and all that stuff.''

But for every negative response, I got 10 postitive ones.

Such as the three families who invited me to their homes for Friday night Shabbat dinners.

And the mother who tried to set me up with her daughter. After first apologizing for being ``another Jewish mother'' trying to matchmake, she offered to send me her daughter's email address. ``If you're married (sorry Mrs. Dube) or gay I promise not to push the fact that I have a gorgeous 5-foot, 7-inch daughter moving back to Charlotte after she graduates this May.''

As if having one pushy Jewish mother isn't already enough (sorry, mom).

The outpouring of kindness touched me. In our society, unfortunately, the people most likely to speak their minds tend to be those with negative opinions and criticism. It's comforting to know so many people exist, behind the scenes, ready to cross religious boundaries and share candles and kindness with strangers.

And thanks to y'all, those concerned Jewish mothers out there can stop worrying about me: I already have candles for next year.

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